Betrayal by a partner who struggles with addiction to pornography or sex can be an incredibly traumatic experience for those involved. As a betrayed partner, it can be difficult to know what to do or how to handle the situation. Here are four do's and four don'ts for betrayed partners of porn and sex addicts in the early stages of recovery, discovery or despair.
DO's:
Do Seek Support from a CSAT, CPTT, CCBRT therapist or counselor: Betrayal trauma can be a deeply emotional experience and it is important to seek help from a mental health professional who specializes in trauma and addiction. A therapist can help you process your feelings, establish healthy boundaries, and work through the emotional aftermath of the betrayal.
Do Focus on Self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential during this difficult time. This may involve taking time off work, spending time with supportive friends and family, engaging in physical activity, or practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation and grounding.
Do Establish Clear boundaries: Betrayed partners often struggle with trust and safety after being deceived by their partner. It is important to establish clear boundaries and expectations with your partner around their addiction and behavior. This may involve creating a safety plan or setting up accountability measures to prevent further betrayal.
Do Educate Yourself: Learning about addiction/compulsion and its impact on relationships can help you understand your partner's struggles and provide insight into the recovery process. It can also help you recognize when your partner is taking the necessary steps towards recovery and when they are not.
DON'Ts:
Don't Blame Yourself: Betrayal by a partner who struggles with addiction can be an emotionally charged experience, and it is easy to fall into the trap of blaming oneself. It is important to remember that the addiction is not your fault, and you did not cause it.
Don't Enable the addiction: Enabling behavior can include making excuses for your partner's behavior, covering up their addiction, or minimizing the impact in your life. This can hinder your and your partner's recovery and perpetuate the cycle of addiction.
Don't Give Ultimatums: While it is imperative to establish boundaries and expectations, giving ultimatums can be counterproductive. It is helpful to focus on the positive steps your partner is taking towards recovery, rather than making demands or threats.
Don't Rush the Healing Process: Healing from betrayal trauma takes time, and it is important not to rush the process. It is important to allow yourself to feel your emotions and take the necessary time to process and honor them.
Betrayal by a partner who struggles with pornography and/or sex addiction can be a traumatic experience for those involved.
Seeking support from a specialized health professional, focusing on self-care, establishing clear boundaries, and educating oneself are all essential steps for betrayed partners to take.
Social Media
Follow me on IG @guacybarnes for inspiration, humor, valuable insights on healing from betrayal, finding a purpose and to help my page grow so I can reach women who are still suffering in silence. They need to know they are not alone, they are not crazy.
Remember that healing is possible, and you deserve to feel supported and empowered on your journey.Head to my "Brand New" Facebook Private Community Trauma To Triumph Betrayal Trauma Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/traumatotriumphsupport
Together, let's create a future filled with hope, empowerment and purpose!
Guacy Barnes
© 2024 Guacy Barnes. All rights reserved. No part of this website, including articles, images, quotes, courses, but not limited to, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, including the use of quotes or information related to courses, contact info@traumatotriumph.co